I thanked God over and over, ardently praying, “God, I want more of this wonderful Christmas feeling. Guide me; just tell me what to do.”
As we settled down with a cup of tea, I told my friend the story of my Christmas journey with a Being who spoke to me in my mind and directed me to give money to people I didn’t know over the holidays.
It was the last few days before Christmas and I was standing in the cluttered aisles of my local Wal-Mart with my long list of last-minute gifts. The list had gone in and out of my coat pocket so many times the paper was as limp as I felt. I was overwhelmed to the point that I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for anymore. A gift idea bubbled up in my consciousness as I watched a young store clerk methodically restacking a completely ransacked shelf. I stopped and watched her slow rhythmic movements and her lifeless countenance, which was mirroring my own frustrations.
Remembering my mission, I asked her for directions to find my elusive gift. Silent and unsmiling, she politely pointed me in the right direction and returned to her work. I was halfway down the next aisle when the voice inside me spoke loudly, “Give the young woman the $100 bill you have in your purse.” Without hesitating I pulled out the bill and walked up to the clerk who was still stacking boxes. I smiled as I handed her the $100 saying, “Merry Christmas”. She stared at me dumbfounded and with a beautiful smile she said, “You don’t know what you have done.” In a flash, she reached out and swooped me up in the most loving hug I have ever experienced and held me so tight I could hardly breathe as she poured forth an amazing amount of love into my being. When she finally set me down, I wished her Merry Christmas and floated toward the cashier like a drunken sailor, leaving my smiling angel behind. I glided through the register checkout, and left the store on a cloud of warm sugar-cookie love.
I sat in my car in a daze as I watched the shopper’s come and go. I knew they were talking and laughing and yelling at each other but I did not hear a word. All I could feel was this incredible energy running through the cells of my body. I thanked God over and over, ardently praying, “God, I want more of this wonderful feeling. Guide me; just tell me what to do.” A peaceful quietness settled around me as I continued to watch the shoppers as if in a dream. Then I heard the same voice directing me, “Go to the bank and draw out nine more $100 bills and pass them out before Christmas.”
Early the next morning I headed for the bank and withdrew nine crisp $100 bills, went to work, and waited. I had a magical day. Everyone seemed to be smiling at me. I felt like I was glowing and my work flowed effortlessly. At the close of day, I was wrapping up my business with a coworker. When we were done, she reached beneath her desk and brought forth a tiny hand-carved bear with a card attached explaining the totem meaning of a bear and handed it to me. What she didn’t know was that the bear was my totem animal and had been so for many years. My excitement at receiving this beautiful gift from the Universe through this young woman confirmed that something special was happening within me. My friend and I laughed over the synchronicity of all these events. The fact that this lovely woman and her new husband had gifted me moved deep into my heart and the voice spoke again, “Give her $100.” I reached into my pocket, fetched a brand new $100 bill and handed it to her, wishing her a Merry Christmas. Her wide-eyed surprise created a dancing light show of energy in the room around us as her joy ignited a thousand firecrackers of love.
I returned home after work to meet with a dear friend to go Christmas shopping. We decided to relax for a few minutes before heading to the mall. I shared my Christmas story with him and I watched his face flush with excitement as he eagerly explained to me that he had a young woman on his staff with two small children who were not going to be able to have Christmas. He had wanted to help her but had no funds to do so. I could tell he felt a deep sadness for her and I saw grief etched around his eyes. The voice, stirring gently within me commanded, “Give her $300.” As I pulled the bills from my purse and handed them to him, tears ran down his face and he said, “If I weren’t gay, I’d marry you right now,” and we both giggled.
The following afternoon was Christmas Eve. I had a gift for a dear friend but had trouble connecting with her. Our schedules kept colliding and it was difficult to carve out a time slot where we could spend a few moments together. She finally returned my call and said that all her appointments had suddenly cancelled and she was free. I arrived at her place full of excitement at the glorious Christmas relationship I was having with the Universe. If there was anyone who could understand what was happening with me, she would be the one. We settled down with a cup of tea and I related the story of my Christmas journey with this Being who was speaking to me in my mind and directing me to give money to people I didn’t know. Then she shared with me a story about a mutual friend of ours who had no Christmas for her children. The voice spoke strongly within, “Give her $200.” I reached into my purse and pulled out the bills and handed them to my friend. Because the afternoon was drawing late and it was Christmas Eve she immediately called her friend and made arrangements for the cash to be picked up. The couple arrived quickly with electric anticipation. As we joyfully jabbered about our dance of synchronicity, the husband shared his part of the story that had begun two hours earlier in the day. They had been sitting and having lunch in their trailer when the garbage collectors came by to do their regular weekly pick-up. For some reason he could not quite explain, he took a $20 bill out of his billfold and walked outside and gave it to the men, wishing them Merry Christmas. Returning to his trailer, he sat down at the table with his wife, surprised at what he had done. She lovingly told him not to worry because it would return to him 10 times over and here he was, now receiving $200 cash in his hand a mere two hours later. Happiness swirled around us as the angels sang and clapped a holy version of the Christmas Joy.
I had $200 left and the day was almost over. I had a few more groceries to buy so I headed back to Wal-Mart where I threaded my way through a wall of people and went into the beauty salon. There were only two operators ‘juggling’ heads of hair in various stages of creative completion. One young woman left her station and came over to help me. We laughed easily at the Christmas madness as she rang up my purchase. When she handed me my bag with a beautiful Christmas smile, the voice rose and spoke, “Give her $100.” I handed her the money, wishing her a very merry Christmas and watched as her gratitude turned ecstatic somersaults throughout the salon. I left the space exhilarated and thanking God for the best, most wonderful Christmas gift I had ever received.
I had $100 left in my pocket and I wandered through the store with my senses heightened. I glanced at all the passing faces, asking, “Is this the one?” Nothing stirred and I waited. I got in line with my purchases and began inching toward the checkout. I saw a young couple with a new baby in the line next to mine. They looked so sweet, I felt a tug in my heart remembering my days as a young mother trying to be everything I felt my children needed and wanted for Christmas. Finally I was standing before a very tired young cashier who appeared to be struggling to pull from her depths a smile. As she rang up my purchases, I asked her how she was holding up. She looked at me through red-rimmed eyes and told me that she had just come through the toughest two months of her life but she knew without a shadow of a doubt that somehow she was going to make it. She smiled a smile of hoped-for joy and the voice stirred deep and spoke, “Give her the last $100.” When I handed her the $100 bill and wished her a very merry Christmas I saw a picture in my mind of a person throwing a life preserver to someone who was floundering in troubled seas. She reached for and grasped the ring, and her spirit lifted a sincere thankfulness in the world around us, and the celebration of a very Merry Christmas was upon us.
I joyfully paid for my purchases, receiving her thanks, exited the store, and finally came to rest in my car with a feeling that the journey had come full circle and had been completed. I leaned back and took a deep breath and as I slowly exhaled I heard the voice speaking sweetly to me one last time, “And to you my dear, a very good night. Merry Christmas.”